A Bedtime Story about Cat-Men
“You want to hear a shtory? about dragons and how even I met and—”
“Uncle Far, tell me about the cats!”
“Cats are these little hairy thingsh that prowl around at night and—”
“I’m talking about the cat people!”
“it shtill appliesh. Anyway, the Khashiit. The Khashiit are a race of cat people that come from the deshertsh below Shyrodiil called Elshweyr”
“What else?”
“Most of them shteal and drink shilly shider they call "Shkooma". They like the moonsh for shome reashon, Jarl Barlgruuf doesn’t let them into the shity because they come in gangs but individualsh shometimes come in”
“is that all Uncle Far? But why do they like the moons?”
“Maybe becaush it’s a light to guide them when they’re shneaking around. Not all Khashiit are bad though, one of them got me a speshial dragonshtone from bleak fallsh barrow; I think. Or wash that an elf? Or just a shmall Nord? I can’t remember, but the point ish they aren’t all bad”
“do you have any books on them?”
“Ho ho ho, Khashiit cant read shilly”
“are there books about-
“No one caresh enough, now shut your eyesh and shleep".
He leaves the room passive-aggresively
A short person (for a Nord) enters the room slowly
“Little boy, do you wish to know about Khajiit?”
“are you that new guy my father works for?”
“damn, you’re awake. Um, yes, in a way. what do you want to know?”
“Hey, you don’t even have a tail; what does a wood elf like you know about cat men?”
“Call jaji that again and he’ll rip jajo’s throat out”
“wha—”
“no child, jaji IS Khajiit, or was, but do not mind that. He will tell you where Khajiit came from. First, when a mother cat – but not Mara – and a father cat feel like it, they… well there can be more than two but anyway, they get in a… ever heard of a Senchal Shakeup?”
“what’s that?”
“nothing for you to know yet. How about the old Ne’ Quinniit Treat?”
“I haven’t eaten your peoples food before”
“Alright, you don’t know anything. Hmmm. Cats hug and cubs are born, there. Except the first two were Fadomai and Ahnurrrrr”
“huh? you mean Anu and Pado—”
“NO. Very different. Anyway, they make the first children, among them is Alkosh”
“Like Akato—”
“Does jajo wish to hear about Khajiit or not?”
"who’s jajo?”
“THEN THEY HAD MORE CHILDREN. But before Fadomai died, she gave Azurah greatest gift, the secret to the greatest people”
“but Hrongar says that—”
“Is he Khajiit? no? then silence. Now—”
“Hey, don’t talk about—”
“AZURAH TOOK PEOPLE TO BEST PART OF NIRNI, MAKE THEM PERFECT AND PROTECT US WITH JODE’N’JONE”
“…why is your land called Elsweyr and not perfect cat land?”
“because it is not perfect, Khajiit must stay perfect by living in the worst. Long ago, Ne’Quinniit and Palatiit fought too much so the two cats married to try bring peace; a perfect society must be peaceful and a perfect society is found elsewhere, so they named the land Elsweyr”
“Why aren’t you furry like the other beasts?”
“why aren’t you asleep?”
“tell me why you’re not—”
“read a book”
“but we can’t find any!”
“good.”