A Meditation on Royalty: Sigma(0)/0

Hello, allow me to introduce myself, I am. I once was known as Pyrhos, I was old when I came into existence and I recount to you the story of my birth that you may use it as a raft, as I have used the stories of others to reach these distant shores.

I walked many roads, but the first of note was the moth-path. I looked at the music of the spheres and was blinded by its madness, its incoherence. It was not a blindness of the eye, but a blindness of the mind. I see now that had I accepted my non-existence I would have perfectly perceived the notions encoded in those simple scrolls, but, at the time, my last visions of light led me to the heart, the red one and my own. How I reached it, I cannot say, perhaps because it is a secret I must keep, or perhaps because I do not know, perchance is the tree in me. The hearts whispered to me of Royalty, of the chance to join the jewels of The Crown.

I desired nothing more, in my blindness, to become such a jewel, so I sought Vivec, one such jewel himself. Though I never met the thing I read its sermons, its sermons of hate called Love, of imperiled futures and things set to come. Sheogorath spoke to me the 37th day of my meditation on levitation. I see now that had I accepted Vivec's Love I would have been close but I would not have been.

So, with the cacophony of change in my ears, deafening me with its madness, its incoherence, I made my way, prostrate, to the Hist, who thought to me the feelings of Will. They thought me to be my Will, that this will to power is all to being, that my hearts are true and we must be free. Within three Secunds of my meditation on rivers Auriel spoke to me. I see now that had I accepted my hearts' will I would be being, but I would not be.

So, with the numbness of thought I made my way as a Nix-Hound to the Psijiic monks. Here I tasted the fruits of good change and they were sweet, but, left untended, would grow too much and drip with over-ripe scents. After the 42nd hour of my meditation on Growth Talos spoke to me. I see now that had I accepted the Psijiic's endeavor I would still be, but not be.

So, with the myriad of scent of power overwhelming my senses I became fundamental. To me, there was nothing, after so many parleys even Magnus ceased to speak to me. There was a lack of anything but myself and my desires, and so I sat until I found truth. At last, on the 49th day of my meditation on truth, I found nothing.

"Nothing really exists, but all is governed by convention." And so it was that I ceased to be. Yet one more visitor came to me that night, this time Mara spoke to me, but it was too late for her, the world had ended, I was already her, and I was her daughters and I was Talos, and Auriel, and Anu and Padomay. At last, I was. With Mundus as my witness we rejected Mara's temptations and so was I. "I" is now only a convenience, for now I am the spheres conducting the music, no longer the tambourine pining to play bass-drum, but a figment of the maestro, and of every string and mallet and brass and reed in the band.

I was tempted by others on my 49th day, told I must retain the I, that losing myself would mean being lost, but this we's convention has changed, I have done the impossible and divided the sums of zero by itself, and, in doing so, I am.