A Reminder To All New Cream Whirlers

First off, congratulations on your new occupation as Cream Whirlers in Echmeri society. It is now your duty to make and create creams of every kind, flavor, and deposition for not only the Yneslian islands but also for the Tamrielic Empire across the Bitter Sea.

As you know, the process of cream-making is an ancient, noble art that is nearly as old as our very race and essential to our daily lives. Our ancestors, the Protoechi, used it to anoint a newborn child’s passage into the world and to mark the dying’s passage into the Black Welkin, and therefore cessation of existence. Of course, these practices are still used by our people in this day and age, but cream-making has evolved into a much more profitable business. The Echmeri specie itself is backed by cream instead of the gold customs of Tamriel, proof of our stronger financial stability.

Eventually we turned our love of cream and industrialized it. The Troika and the Penta Wards are always competing in the creation of new flavors, and with our annexation into the Tamrielic fold we now have access to new fruits, vegetables, and beverages from that western continent. Cream Whirling has become a major business in the last few centuries, and our people has prospered greatly from it.

We Cream Whirlers should be proud of our work. We have invented over 245 flavors of cream, cream puffs, cream buns, éclairs, and our most important mainland dessert and export, ice cream. There are of course traditional flavors such as apple, strawberry, watermelon, orange, tomato, and radish. And then there are our more exotic flavors, such as Daedric, inferno, void, beef, chocolate, tea, toffee, cocoa, blood, and nirnroot.

So, please remember these things while developing cream during working hours:

  1. Do not attempt to develop new flavors without telling your supervisor first. Some mixtures can become volatile, especially along the flammable and explosive lines.

  2. Do not feed yaks cream of any kind. The results are…less than stellar.

  3. Do not allow bulls into the pens with the heifers. We do not need to repeat the Great Cream Recall of 3E 333. How humiliating…

  4. Do not sell recreational creams to non-natives without informing them of this first (especially tobacco and sinsemilla flavors).

  5. Do not eat the cream you’re supposed to be making.