An Interview with a Cephalo, Volume I

First published 4E 110.

The following interview was held between Elena Alonius, a scholar of the Imperial Geographical Society and Sessu-Ke, an elderly Cephalo who resided in New Narsis in the Imperial City. What was spoken in the meeting between the two was recorded by Hron the Younger, an apprentice of Elena's.

Magnus had risen over the horizon, and his rays fell upon my Colovian head, indicating that it was time that I had risen from my sleep. Elena was already awake, and was reading through the essay I had wrote as part of my course at the IGS. I watched her mouth change into a smile as big as a skooma-happy Khajiit; whether this was because of the Dunmer and the pumpkin joke I had intentionally left in or because of the theory I had proposed that Callonius Elbos hadn't been present at the Umbriel Crisis connecting a thousand and one heads with his blade as he had told many a time to the younger ladies of the Imperial City, but instead was sleeping in a whorehouse in Bravil and was using his 'blade' for other purposes, I wasn't entirely sure.

Elena rose from the Imga-ken leather futon she was lying on, and placed my essay back inside her desk. "I must say Hron, your writing style is most impressive. I haven't met many Colovians who could string along more than two sentences together, nevermind a five-thousand word manuscript. I should think you would be a most welcome addition to the Imperial Geographical Society when you graduate." I smiled at the praise my tutor gave me. "Thank you, Miss Alonius. I must have been gifted with the art of writing by my mother before she passed." Elena tied her long ebony hair back into a ponytail and threw a pile of empty books towards me. "Niben, was she?" I nodded my head in agreement. "With a hint of Tsaeci blood in her as well, miss."

Elena opened her wardrobe, debated to herself about which garment she should wear, and settled on a lavendar cloak with the sigil of House Indarys sown with Emperor's Gold on the back. "If you hadn't guessed already Hron, we aren't staying in the Forum today. I have arranged a meeting with someone special in New Narsis and as part of your new assignment I want you to record what is said between myself and our friend." I exhaled in disappointment. "New Narsis again? But I've already written extensively about the fall of House Hlaalu, and surely you remember what happened with those Argonians last time I was in the district?" I pulled up my left trouser leg to remind my tutor of the large scar upon my limb after one of the lizards tried to bite it off. "I can assure you that you won't be attacked by the Argonians again. And if I do recall correctly, the incident was caused by your lack of proper etiquette around them. Anyway, we aren't going that far west. Our meeting is in the east of the district." I gave Elena look of confusion "With the Dreughs? Why are meeting with them?" Elena shook her head. "If I was you, I wouldn't refer to them as Dreughs when you are around them, or you'll get a lot worse than a simple nibble. The Imperial Geographical Society have little to no information about the tribe that call themselves the Cephalo; and after much negotiation the priests at the Temple of Xacses have granted our organisation permission to speak with a member. It is an opportunity we cannot afford to pass up on, and you should consider yourself lucky that you shall be in attendance." I tossed a Septim in the air and caught it as it fell back down towards me. "If I wanted to be communing with crabs, I would have stayed at father's fishery in Anvil." Elena shook her head at me and took the coin away from me. "Well that's all right then because I will be the one talking, not you. Now get some decent clothes on, she will be expecting our presence in the next hour or so."

The stench was the first thing I noticed as we entered the district, a pungent smell that could have rivalled the Waterfront. It was as if the Dreughs had not bother read the advice given by Axius Tessus in his guidebook A Thousand Ways To Deal With Waste. I could see what I assumed to be Dreugh children with shovels gathering the droppings in the street, and taking them to a heap of the dung that was half the size of one of those mushroom towers the Telvanni of Vvardenfell used to grow before the Red Mountain erupted. I pinched my nose, and Elena did the same. We watched as the Dreugh children set alight the mountain of faeces, and they danced around it as if in some sort of trance.

The smell became almost deadly, so Elena pointed over to the building we were to be expected in, and we ran over with books in hand, being careful not to step on any stray pieces the Dreughs had missed. Elena banged on the wooden door unceremoniously, and an elderly Dreugh opened it, peeking through the smallest gap possible.

"I told you before smooth-skin, those skooma-pipes were not mine. Now go away, before I send Cossu and Vikxu out to gobble you all up."

"Madam, we are not at your door to enquire about skooma-pipes. My name is Elena Alonius and this is Hron the Younger. We are here on behalf of the Imperial Geographical Society."

The Dreugh look us up and down. "You are the ones Yuhxi-Noeht spoke of, no?" Elena nodded her head "Yes madam. The priest said you would be willing to commune with us."

The Dreugh laughed, with a raspy cough following it. " He did, did he? Hmm........very well kroki, you may enter. Move, Cossu, move!"

The Dreugh opened the door, and the aroma inside was overwhelming. The stench of faeces that had infiltrated our noses outside had been replaced with the sweet smell of roses and scented candles. A pair of young pale Guars, who I assumed to be Cossu and Vikxu, ran around the small shack, leapt onto a netch leather sofa and promptly fell asleep.

The Dreugh lead us into the main room of the house, and stood with her back as straight as she could in her old age. "Yuhxi-Noeht said you wanted to learn about the Cephalo, no?" Elena looked at me, making sure I was taking notes. " Yes, we would very much like to learn about the Cephalo." The Dreugh nodded. "Then you will follow the same customs that the Cephalo follow to one another. De-robe." I looked at Elena, looking to see if I had misheard. "I'm sorry?" "I said de-robe, young smooth-skin. You want to learn, you listen to mother Seesu-Ke. De-robe!"

I looked at Elena, unsure as to what to do. "I'm sorry, I'm not entirely comfortable-" Sessu-Ke laughed with her raspy throat again. "What's wrong, kroki? I'm sure your female friend here as seen much worse than a young, naked smooth-skin before. Do it for Mother Sessu-Ke, if nothing else. It has been more than a hundred of your years since I have seen a Cyrodiil's stick, I do not want to regret not asking."

I looked to my left at Elena again to have some guidance as to whether to obey the Dreugh or not, but Elena was already naked from the waist up. "Wait a minute, you're doing as she-"

"Oh for the love of Dibella, Hron, just do as she says. I don't want to go back to the Society with no notes because you refused to get your kit off. Trust me on this."

At this point I had no idea whether I was dreaming, or I had in fact gone mad from the aromatic fumes billowing around the room, but I gave into peer pressure and followed the Dreugh's request.

"Ah kroki, you have such an impressive build for a Cyrodiil of such young age. And you, krokei, have a bust a Cephalo could only dream of. You have made Sessu-Ke warm inside. You may now sit." Sessu-Ke pointed towards the sofa on which Cossu and Vikxu were sleeping, and I sat down doing my best not to disturb the Guars, as well as protect my 'valuables' from the view of the perverted Dreugh sat across from me.

"So, Mother Sessu-Ke. Shall we begin the interview now?"

"Magis has only just risen in the sky, child. We will do the talking when Maasr and Zekkun come to visit. This date wasn't picked at random today, krokei. Tonight shall be the most special night of the Cephalo year, maybe even for more than just the Cephalo. You do not want to miss that. For now, Mother Sessu-Ke will treat you to Ash-Goblin gammon and Eastern Kwama Eggs. Later you will get to talk about the Cephalo with myself before the change."

Elena cocked her head to the side. "The change? What change?"

"Not now, krokei, later. Wait until Maasr and Zekkun come. Come, follow me to the kitchen, you can choose which steak you want."