The Piercing of Yokuda

After the Aldmeri Dominion's sequestering, the first person to enter the lands of Yokuda-once-lost was a Dunmer criminal named Wabbi the Liar. A diminutive thief of slight reputation, Wabbi earned his nickname from his notoriously poor relationship with the truth. When the publican of a thief-centric ale-hole spotted him with an odd pocket full of glimmering clink, he asked the bright-haired Liar where he'd stolen it. Rumor and legend state that the conversation resembled the following:

"Off a water-rotted corpse. A Redguard lady, that."

"Didn't have you labeled as a grave-botherer, Wabbi. You pullin' it?" the publican asked.

"S'truth, I promise. Ancient and well-guarded, she was. By a chastity belt of Altmer sailors as long as my prick but half as wide," the Dunmer winked.

"So what is it, then?" The publican leaned closer to see what the thief was concealing in his hands. "Looks like a frog."

"Magic frog," the thief corrected him.

"Magic…"

"Yeh."

"...Frog."

"Yeh." The Dunmer leaned closer, his bright red eyes gleaming. "I gives it a squeeze, everyone in the bath'll go Tom."

"What, in the head? Or pukin'?"

"Both, I reckon."

"Who's Adam you half that from?" The publican was growing impatient by this point, convinced that Wabbi was living up to his nickname once again.

"No one's, honest! Found it!"

"Pull the other one, lad, it's got bells on." But before the bartender could move back to serving his more honest clientele, Wabbi gave in.

"Alright, alright," he grumbled, reaching back into his pocket for another item. "Feast yer minces on this dolly number."

When the publican saw the glittering wheel, his shout was so loud it silenced the bar. All eyes turned to Wabbi and his golden treasure, and no salt-worthy man in that room had not heard of the Baron's Wheel that spun quickly and killed slowly.

Wabbi's hand twitched, and the tiny soap-colored frog croaked, and every man within earshot fell to the ground, groaning and retching from a violent, stabbing headache. Noses bleeding, they clutched the backs of their heads as though their spines were growing too long for their necks.

"Alright, gardens!" Wabbi shouted. "Sit back on your kingdoms or I gives this toad another watford, hear me?" With a leap he stood on the creaking bar top, toad in one hand, golden wheel in the other. "Believe me, today is not the day you want to remember as the day you braced your surreys. No, friends, today is the day you find out about a peasy little lemon just wet and waiting for your three-card-tricks!"

Pacing the length of the bar top, Wabbi began to explain how he had managed to achieve the impossible. He hadn't just breached the Aldmeri Dominion's barricade, he'd bypassed it entirely, having found a way to reach the shores of Yokuda without ever crossing the naval sequestration. Though it required numerous dire sacrifices to Clavicus Vile and a particularly difficult argument with Azura, a few more infiltrations were possible.

Within a half-decade, the scavengers of Yokuda were operating full-time. But "Wabbi's Route" was not the only way to reach those scattered isles.