[Apocrypha] Ten Little Known Facts of Tamriel (and the people who live there)

Ten Little Known Facts of Tamriel (and the people who live there)

by: Born-In-Kettle

  1. It is common for Nibenese brides to attend their weddings completely drunk and be lead around by the groom. It's not known where this tradition originated but many scholars suggest a connection to Khajiit marriage customs where both bride and groom arrive high on moonsugar and are led around by their siblings.

  2. Ohmes-Khajiit have substantial difficulty growing facial, pubic and body hair.

  3. There was once a guild of assassins known for their uniform appearance and skills at climbing. Apparently brand recognition is not always a good thing as when the assassination of King Hemli II of Jehenna was botched; he proceeded to march his army up to their castle and kill them all.

  4. Part of an old Nordic adage states; "Orcs speak in barks and curses..." This seems to partially hold true as recent studies have shown that the average Orsimeri conversation is 37% curses and 3% non-word sounds.

  5. In Daggerfall it is not uncommon to find the door-handles of older homes placed on the right. This is due to the old belief that specters haunt the streets at night and that they'll be confused and leave when they cannot find the door-handle in it's 'proper location'.

  6. The Men of Roscrea are known to speak to each other over long distances via an complex system of whistles.

  7. Nords and Bretons can both drink milk well into their lifetimes, while other Man/Mer races start taking ill of it after their first years. Argonians can also safely ingest the milk of animals but the milk of Man/Mer causes mild delusions.

  8. The strongest verifiable man is 37 year old Nord, Heleth Svenson of Amberguard known for carrying 2 full grown cows on his daily hikes. The strongest unverifiable man is Nord, Mannlik the Strong of the 1st era, known for supposedly lifting Mount Anthor.

  9. Orsimer are the only Mer who grow wisdom teeth.

  10. The longest crime spree in history was committed by Bosmer, Vo'sinne the Quick. His spree lasted from 3E 349 to 4E 59. Starting at the age of 17, he wasn't caught until he died of old age at 120 while robbing (read: charming) a maiden in Cyrodiil. His many crimes include but not are limited to:

    *Stealing Queen Barenziah's undergarments.

    *Replacing a Colovian's prized race horse with a drugged unicorn.

    *Tricking an important Altmer diplomat into believing that meetings were conducted nude in Cyrodiil. (Not that the diplomat is blameless, it is common knowledge that this law has not been enforced in several hundred years.)

    *And my personal favorite: Through an elaborate web of lies and forged documents he "sold" Markarth to Hammerfell. It took months to sort out the paperwork.

Note: I'm having trouble sleeping and I'm incredibly bored, so I wrote this. I pulled all of these facts out of my ass. You can argue them with my ass when I wake up, goodnight.

Edit: Just woke up, glad to see this well received, I took myrrlyn's suggestion with the asterisks.