Tamrielic Insults, Curses, Cusses and Name-Calling VOL. I

Yermum Crayterua, Maormeri Scholar of All Profane Utterances, collected for his most illustrious majesty Orgnum

Tamriel. The Arena. A snarling pit of vicious hatred and barbarism. Of course, the perfect breeding ground for all manner of shocking, tasteless disses of the most offensive nature, such as to make grandmothers the continent over gasp in terror.

Commencing with the Imperial province of Skyrim, I have assembled a complete compendium, a panoply of all known curses and cusses across Tamriel. Each culture brings an unquestionably unique brand of profanity to the table, and it has been my mission to document all of it. Without further ado, let the learning commence!

SKYRIM

"Milk-Drinker"

Nords value toughness and hardiness above all else, so one who is perceived as either too weak to handle real mead, or one who would rather stay in the city drinking their precious milk instead of venturing out into the milkless wilderness is a perfect target for this cutting descriptor. Orcs share this curse with Nords, but Orcs are truly on another whole level of profanity.

"Snowback"

One who infrequently triumphs in the Nordic art of bar brawls. Derived from the snow found on a losing fighter's back after their drunken failure.

"Cow-Chucker"

One of weak will or little "spine", this is derived from the Nordic practice of gifting cows to giants as tribute.

"Skeever-Scat"

General insult for a scumbag, lowlife, or scoundrel of any kind. For those who are blissfully ignorant, the Skeever is a most distasteful animal.

"Basket Head(ed)"

An insult for one of little situational awareness or intelligence, derivation unknown.

"Shorphan"

A combination of the words Shor and orphan, implying that the insulted individual isn't fit to be called a Nord, a son of Shor.

"Hork(y)"

Short for Horker, this cuss is for those of similar bodily shape to the aforementioned blubbery beast, but the word can also be used in the context of "Hork you!" or "son of a Hork!"

For a demonstration of these expletives in a Nord's vocabulary, I have created an example phrase for a hypothetical, angry Nord.

"Well if it isn't the basket-headed, skeever-scat cow-chucker himself. I thought milk-drinking horky shorphans weren't allowed around parts like these, but if that's how it's gotta be, that's how it's gotta be. Put 'em up ya snowback!"

This concludes the Nordic portion of this most derogatory literary work, read on in the next volume for a collection of Argonian insults and foul words! Be warned, the Lusty Argonian Maid is quoted by a number of Argonians in their daily lives!