Tamrielic Insults, Curses, Cusses and Name-Calling VOL. II

Yermum Crayterua, Maormeri Scholar of All Profane Utterances, collected for his most illustrious majesty Orgnum

Black Marsh. Argonia. Lizard land. And myriad other less than flattering names. This is the homeland of the Tamrielic reptile-folk, mysterious as always to we humble Maormer.

BUT NO LONGER! At least where vulgar and uncouth phrases are concerned. In this volume, we will explore the decidedly unique collection of curses and jabs found in the dark swales of Tamriel's rubbish dump.

BLACK MARSH

"Fork(er/ing)"

Noun and verb, respectively. A forker is a term for an absolute moron. To fork, as a verb, is to act in an idiotic or manic way, to really be a true dimwit, that is the essence of forking, and I don't believe any race captures this feeling in a single expletive better than the Saxhleel. The word is derived from a Black Marsh legend, that of an Argonian named Big Head, and his epic, but ultimately stupid adventures in search of the fabled Fork of Horripilation. Though he presumably never found his fork, the vacuous mind of this imbecile has left a mark in the Argonian vernacular.

"Kaoc"

Usually spat angrily, evidently equivalent to the Cyrodiilic word "shite". Derivation is linked to the Jel word for evacuation of the bladder.

"Spine-Chaser"

Argonians erect their spines when sexually aroused, and as such, this lewd expression is used to describe an Argonian of a ferocious sexual appetite, and who feels compelled to ogle all members of the opposite sex.

"Hist Sniffer"

A timid, cowardly, or indecisive person. Derived from the Saxhleel tradition of licking Hist sap when coming of age. Sniffing, instead of licking would be the mark of a spineless coward.

"Sax Krak Xi Neel Kersh"

Literally translates to "I shit on your dead"

"Hatch-Dak"

Used to refer to a Saxhleel of of questionable manliness, and dubious maturity. Though Argonians do not hold babies in the same way as we Mer, being called a Hatch-Dak conveys the same feeling as being called a baby.

"Spear Polisher"

A grave insult indeed, derived from the famous Argonian erotica "The Lusty Argonian Maid". Implies the insulted individual takes part in...less than respectable activities. A synonymous cuss is "Loaf Stuffer", from the same tale. (Tail?)

Now comes the time for an exemplary exchange between two Saxhleel to demonstrate the proper usage of the filth described above.

"Hey forker? How ya doing? Been at the bar all day haven't you? Chasing spines, yes?"

"Kaoc, man no! I'm waiting for Sheezara, not that you would know, Hatch-Dak that you are..."

"You need to stop being such a Hist-sniffer. Go talk to one of the other females; Sheezara ain't coming. I heard that she's been...well..."polishing spears" all night, if ya know what I mean."

"You dare disrespect Sheezara? I...no...you can't-...! Jorel-ei, SAX KRAK XI NEEL KERSH!!!"

And thus ends the Argonian volume of my compendium. Truly, the Saxhleel may appear cool and collected to the outsider, but the further one ventures into their murky marshes, away from civilization, the trashier it's residents become. Fascinating. In light of increased funds graciously provided by his royal highness Orgnum, my expedition now has the means to travel anywhere in Tamriel to research it's manifold profanity. It is up to you, proud Maormeri citizens of the Pyandonean Academic Society to decide where we will head next to create volume III of this most respectable tome of disrespect.

Orgnum prevails, comrades!