A Confession of Annana Rathen, Temple Priestess (Part 4, Conclusion)

When I awoke, I was laying on a soft couch in a room I did not recognize. The light was warm, yet it was not torchlight; it seemed to have no source. The room had little space to walk or maneuver; books and manuscripts piled here and there, parchments with unfinished lines of poetry in flamboyant handwriting strewn about. Sitting on a nearby writing table was a painting of St. Nerevar, done more realistically than in the traditional Temple style. A long red robe was draped over the chair nearby. Upon the far wall, exotic weapons and shields of all kinds were hung, each one being covered in spikes and points without rhyme or reason. There was a small shrine to Mephala in the corner, but it appeared to be unused. It was a bit of a mess, but it felt very lived in. Thinking back, I don't recall seeing a door.

My wounds were healed, yet I still felt exhausted and could barely sit upright. Disoriented, I tried to piece together my location. All I could remember was the huge daedroth and the blinding pain. I glanced at my side and winced. Now covered in scar tissue, I was able to trace the path of its claws through my flesh. I hadn't thought about the risks going in. Only in retrospect did I see that I could have died. Suddenly a voice, that unmistakable double voice, asked, "How do you feel?"

I looked over and there was Lord Vivec, peering down at me. His crown of fire was missing; it was strange to see him without it. His expression was reserved, yet once again I felt he peered into my soul. And once again I was struck by how normal he seemed, despite his bizarre two-toned appearance and godhood. Just the idea that we could occupy the same space together was amazing. At that point, I realized our close proximity and I started stammering.

"I-I'll be alright, Lord," I said.

"That is good," he said.

There was a brief silence. I didn't know if I should presume to say anything. Yet he seemed to be waiting for me to speak. Finally, I said, "Where are we? What happened to the-"

"We are in my private chambers in the palace. You slew the beast, well done."

I looked around again. As far as I know, only the Tribunal had seen this chamber in the Palace. I couldn't believe it. Suddenly everything took on new meaning, now that I knew it belonged to him.

I raised myself up and bowed my head to the Lord, saying, "I am not worthy of this honor, master." He leaned down and clasped my hand. My heart started pounding in my chest. Almost as bad as the daedroth (almost). Yet I was happy beyond words. I couldn't look him in the eye, but I knew he was looking at me. I believe I was crying. That mysterious expression he often wore had turned to kindness. He smiled and said, "You are not far from heaven. Nay, not far from the heaven beyond heaven."

"I, um, well-"

"I envy you, in some ways." He laughed. "If I had been in your position, I probably would have acted differently."

He stood me up. I couldn't think. Too much to process. "Morrowind will need people like you. A new era is coming. If you love me, then love them. Serve them as you would serve me." He smiled at me and put his hand on my cheek.

Then, without warning, I was back in my dormitory. I was alone. I collapsed onto my bed, falling asleep with dreams of his face upon my mind.

The next day, everything resumed as normal. I blessed pilgrims as they came into the audience chamber. Vivec heard them and either resolved their problem or killed them instantly (he alternated between the two that day). He never spoke to me about that day again, nor did I bring it up to anyone. Until now. When I let slip a small remark that got you heresy-hunters all riled up.

Members of the Ministry of Truth, this is my confession: I love Vivec. Perhaps you think I lie, that it is impossible for me to have seen his inner chambers. I know what I saw. If you asked him, he may confirm it. Or he would kill me. But I do not lie. Perhaps you think it was my imagination, a dream fueled by silly desires. But I do not lie. Perhaps you think this is unseemly, for a mortal to love a god in such a manner. But can such feelings be sinful when god himself has encouraged it? He allows me to continue to love him. I am no heretic, no matter how often you accuse me. Since that day, I have lived my life fulling his charge. And I will continue to do so if you allow me to live. I serve him and his people with all my heart. For he told me one other thing in his presence, something impossible, something I do not believe: "I will not be around forever."

I see I have given you want you want. Do with me as you will. The ending of the words, after all, is VEHK.