Beloved Cuisines of Tamriel, Volume I: On Sweetrolls

Eis Vuur Warden, Wayward and Contract Scholar

Circa 4E 10

If there is one thing that unites the people that dwell within the Imperial Provinces and Territories of Tamriel together it is probably our shared love for delicious, interesting food. One can learn many things about a culture just by the appearance, smell, taste, and presentation of one’s dishes. For example, the raw semi-alive spicy eel of my native Black Marsh served with herb sauce demonstrates our harsh living environment and need for survival. The incredibly diverse yet strangely dangerous looking deserts of High Rock show off the Bretons feudal and self-untrustworthiness; the simple kwama egg omelets served with baked ash yams of Morrowind is a reproachable on first glance dish, but is bitter yet sweet upon consummation – which completely coincides with the Dunmeri personality and the way their people are judged by outsiders.

But out of all the foods that circulate throughout the Starry Heart and even beyond, only one has achieved permanence in every single race’s menu in their homes through both incredible value and ingenuity. And that, my dear readers, is the simple sweetroll. #Etymology of Sweetroll The word ‘sweetroll’ itself is derived from the ancient tongue of the Aldmeri people, from the word suarota, which means ‘divine secular’. Suarota itself is a combination of the words sua (‘heavenly’) and rota (‘wheel’), two rare words that have been made all but extinct due to the passage of time and the changes of the merish tongue. According to the oldest Altmeri myths, the word suarota describes the dangerous ‘circular’ ideas of entrapment that corrupted Lorkhan when he discovered them in the hands of Sithis and Padomay, which led to the stripping of divine power from the merish race and their exile on Nirn. For this reason sweetrolls have a more spiritual significance in the Summerset Isles than anywhere else (See: Varieties of Sweetrolls), but are nevertheless still made and eaten there in much delight. Overtime as Aldmerish changed into Tamrielic the words sua and rota became identifiable with the words ‘sugary sweetness’ and ‘bread’, the former largely due to interactions between early Altmer and the Khajiiti Kingdoms of Elsweyr and the latter because the word became associated with the ancient Nordic custom of baking wheel-shaped bread to appease Alduin the World-Eater, lest he come eat the world far too early. No one knows precisely when the word sweetroll itself came into use, but by the time of the mid First Era it was commonplace on the tongues of every elder, adult, and child. #History of the Sweetroll If the origin of the word ‘sweetroll’ has been around since the closing days of the Dawn Era, than you know that the consumables themselves have been around for a very long time and have on occasion been a major part of Tamrielic culture throughout the known eras. ##Merethic Era The first well-believed mention of sweetrolls in Tamrielic history is in the strange Atmoran bard-parable Death of Ysgrim Ysgramorsbelt, an extremely lengthy eulogy for the felling of the legendary talking belt of Ysgramor himself. Although discredited by earlier scholars as a song written by Nordic drunkards and passed off as a timeless tail, it has been recently proved as an actual factual account after evidence was discovered in an uncovered Nordic barrow near Rorikstead that is believed to have been established during the short reign of King Hjalmer. This line in particular is what piques the interest of cooks and researchers alike throughout Tamriel:

“…and then Ysgrim Ysgramorsbelt spoke in words of bubbly leather to the [seventeen?] False-Kings that had melted and attempted to obscure past the Broadwall, and froze them solid in Kyne’s breath all the way up to their hairy brows, shouting ‘I [banish] thee from this land, where the counting of lives and the baking of honeyed breads are as tied together and as numerous as there are stars in the sky, forevermore until [the Returned?] of the Return, where thee fixes the Broadwall and leads us to the [Second Halls] of Magnar once more for a great pounding…”

Although the use of ‘honeyed breads’ can mean a wide assortment of deserts and dishes, Nordic skald-scholars personally believe that this passage refers to an archaic progenitor name of the danish that would later on become the popular sweetroll. ##First Era & Second Era --NULL Upon Request-- ##Third Era The most important time period concerning sweetrolls in the Third Era was the annexation of the Ynesleaic archipelago in 3E 279 by Emperor Uriel Septim V. The indigenous yak of the isles had been a major herd animal for the Echmer since times immemorial, and they used its milk to create a wide variety of milks, creams, cheeses, butters, and deserts. Soon Yneslea became known as the ‘Ice Cream Isles’ due to the rapid exportation of Echi dairy products to Tamriel utilizing advanced ice-ships created by the East Empire Company. The main exportation was Ynesleaic cream, which has since been used to bake sweetrolls. ##Fourth Era With the destruction of Vvardenfell during the Red Year five years previous and the recent secession of the Echmer Directorate following the death of Potentate Ocato this year, it is unknown how the production of sweetrolls will be affected – especially with the loss of its biggest dairy and flavor provider (although large stores of Echmeri creams, milks, and fruits/vegetables remain chilled inside EEC warehouses in Cyrodiil). #Varieties of Sweetrolls ##The Altmeri Sweetroll The sweetroll of the Summerset Isles, like their bakers the High Elves, are elegantly straight-forward. The circular-shape of the pastry is proportioned exactly right, and the cream glaze and the dough itself is baked to resemble the feather patterns of an eagle. Interestingly, the Altmer utilize their sweetrolls for spiritual as well as mundane practices – in their society sweetrolls represent the ‘Wheel’, a loose termed that is used for both the horrible ideas for Mundus Lorkhan had during Creation and the Aurbis in general. The baking of these ‘Wheels’ shows that the High Elves are sundered within the aurbical prison, and their eating symbolizes a great desire to both escape the universe forever and to subjugate it under their will. Altmeri sweetrolls tend to only be lemon-flavored or lime-flavored with vanilla cream, or the other way around; the High Elves’ fascination with sweet and sour deserts remains a mystery. ##The Argonian Sweetroll Sweetrolls made in the land of my youth are generally made with the Cyrodiilic style, but overtime an unique variation has arisen amongst my people concerning new baking techniques and styles. The dough for the pastry is usually only semi-sweetened from juices from the local animals and plants, and then spices like cinnamon are added into it before it completely bake inside mud-ovens. Although the smell has been described as slightly pungent by other races, Argonian sweetrolls are much stronger in taste and have been described as ‘smoky’ rather than ‘sweet’ by others. Most flavors tend to be vanilla, cocoa, or orange. ##The Bosmeri Sweetroll Out of all the sweetrolls listed here, perhaps the strangest is the Bosmeri sweetroll. Because of their arrangement with Y’ffre in the form of the Green Pact, the Bosmer cannot grow or cultivate the wheat needed to make proper dough and bread. Therefore, dead fungi is harvested from the forests to create a yeast-like product that is then sweetened by honey and bug juices before being baked in specialized ‘sun-oven’ groves to avoid starting potentially deadly fires. Although more miss-happened, discolored, and looked down by pastry enthusiasts, the undeniable tang and crunch (brought about by the sweetened chopped up beetle carapaces) of Bosmeri sweetrolls give it an exciting exotic taste you’d have to try yourself to believe. ##The Breto-Orcish Sweetroll Amazingly, the Bretons and the Orsimer sweetrolls have – unlike their two races – reached a common ground and benefits immensely by combining of their culinary arts. A combination of Breton made whole wheat dough (sweetened with either vanilla, cocoa, cherries, or bananas) and cream churned from the milk of the furry tardigrades the Orcs have herded for centuries (the Bretons absolutely refuse to use Echi milk or cream for their pastries, viewing themselves as the master bakers of Tamriel), the sweetrolls of High Rock are not only delicious but are also remarkably more healthy for you then those of the other provinces and territories. The Breto-Orcish sweetroll is also usually topped with small hardened and dyed sugar balls that give it a tiny yet enjoyable crunch. While Bretons tend to use a variety of fruits for flavoring, the Orcs are also known to use vegetables like carrots and sweet potatoes in their varieties as well. ##The Cyrodiilic Sweetroll Cyrodiil’s – and therefore the Imperial’s – standard sweetroll is the most widespread and baked variety of sweetroll in Tamriel. With a semi-moist yet golden flaky crust and a proportionate amount of Ynesleaic cream, it is usually known as the pinnacle of the pastry family. Another thing that sets Cyrodiilic sweetrolls apart from other sweetrolls is that the dough is hollow, and filled with a variety of delicious fruit jellies – apple, banana, cherry, peach, lemon, and more. This innovation has made the small desert a most have delicacy throughout the Heartlands. The last point I wish to make is the overall design, which differs between the regions of Colovia and Nibenay. The Colovian Cyrodiilic sweetroll (or ‘Reman Rolls’) slightly resembles the Nordic sweetroll in its toughness, slight bitterness, and outside shape, but the inner circle is made to resemble the Red Diamond and scenes from the Remanada and Shonni-Etta are ‘carved’ into the cream and outside dough. The Nibenese Sweetroll (or ‘Alessian Sweetrolls’) are much more light and chewable, and are adorned with either draconic or Nedic imagery from the Slave Rebellion instead. ##The Dunmeri Sweetroll Something that is immediately glaring about the Dark Elven sweetroll is that instead of being gold, the color of its dough is instead a darker brown. Why this is unknown, but it is speculated that it is in reference to the ancient curse put upon their Chimeri ancestors at the end of the Battle of Red Mountain. Ynesleaic or Dark Elven Cream is combined with the juices of the ash yams and other fruit, and the sourness of the moist bread (a soothing treat for the inhabitants of the dry ashland regions) complements that nicely. Dunmer also tend to drizzle honey on their sweetrolls, and draw the emblem of ALMSIVI in the center of it (but thanks to the Red Year and the Falling of the Tribunal, this is has slowly been replaced by emblems for the Three Good Daedra). ##The Echmeri Sweetroll An imported favorite, the Echmeri sweetroll was created in the aftermath of Uriel V’s failed occupation of Akavir after the Bat Elves observed legionnaires consuming them while on duty. It was the first to utilize Ynesleaic Cream, of course, and aided in the exportation of Echi dairy products to the Starry Heart (as well as the subsequent ordering of almost all sweetrolls being made out of Ynesleaic cream throughout Tamriel). The Bat Elven sweetroll is infamous for its dozens of flavors, but its greatest advantage over other sweetrolls is the fact that it is meant to be served cold alongside the delicious ‘ice cream’ dish of their homeland. Some varieties are even known as ‘ice cream rolls’, utilizing frozen yak cream instead of normal cream or glaze. ##The Khajiiti Sweetroll Elsweyr’s inhabitants are well known for their love of sugar, specifically moon sugar, and their food is almost stickily sweet. The Khajiiti sweetroll takes this to the extreme, and is literally lathered in butter and moon sugar glaze from head to toe. Utilizing either Khajiiti or Ynesleaic cream, some find the un-flavored versions of their pastries too much, and the flavored versions almost a device for the ruining of the taste buds. Most are shaped like the Third Moon, in honor of the Mane that spiritually leads their people. ##The Nordic Sweetroll Despite the coldness or icy nature of their homeland, Nords have a fire in their hearts that is constantly burning – a fire that reflects throughout every part of their culture, including their food. While the Nord love of wasabi is infamously known throughout the civilized cultures of Nirn, their strange love for using it in the cream of their traditional sweetroll recipe is lesser known. Wasabi, Nordic cream, and honey are combined together to become a sweet yet spicy glaze for the sugary dough of the roll, which is saturated in buttermilk and then baked. Strangely, this added hotness is the only thing Nords do to flavor their pastry – no fruit fillings or cream variations. It is believed that this reflects the thought process of their ancient Atmoran ancestors, who feared that they would collectively freeze to death no matter the climate if they did not implement warmth in every aspect of their culture. ##The Yokudan Sweetroll Because of the hot, arid landscape of Hammerfell the Redguard sweetroll is often much more sponge-like than the sweetrolls of other provinces, and is baked from specially made dough that stays moist even after sitting outside under the sun for three days. The cream is lighter as well, making it much easier on the stomach. Noteworthy amongst Redguard bakers is that while they keep the general circular design of the pastry (which they associate with Satakal), they also beautifully ‘sculpt’ scenes from their myths into the pastry dough itself so that after it bakes it almost appears like the extraordinary mosaics that can be found in the ancient Yokudan ruins scattered throughout their province. Who knew that Ruptga poking the Sun with a stick while holding Sep in one hand could fit quite well on a sweetroll? Exotic flavorings like coffee, date, coconut, and strawberry are also frequently made in Hammerfell.