The Imga Myth Revealed!

The Imga Myth Revealed by Orbolius Ollus, 4E 191

Men, hear me! Nord, Breton, Redguard, Imperial, listen close: The mer have played you for fools! I know, for I was once as much a fool as any of you. I've written this book, at great personal expense and risk, to uncover your eyes, so that we can end this myth, so that the Mer can no longer laugh at us, and instead might tremble and shake at our rage.

That myth, which I'm proud to say I've disproved independently and for the first time in all four eras is this: The Imga do not exist. They never have. These 'Great Apes of Valenwood' are a fabrication, a joke. And the punchline is Men.

I know this sounds unbelievable. The Ape Men of the woods can be found in children's tales and some of our favorite humorous tales. We all grew up hearing stories of them playing among the trees, the wine snobs in their capes, turning their nose up at the finest ale, the caped monkeys with false titles. They appear in farces from across the Empire, many of which used to be my favorite. Now that I know the truth, those tales don't seem so funny. My former laughs now turn to ash in my mouth.

I know you believe me a fool. I will set out the case in-depth through the course of this book. Let me probe you, dear reader, with one question upfront. Just one question, that will change the way you see the world. Just one question, which dozens of printers have refused to print. Just one question, the asking of which has put a bounty on my head in any city where Mer strut cockily about. Just one question:

Have you ever seen an Imga? Do you know anyone who has?

In all my travels, before, during, and after the Great War, I've yet to meet a man who can faithfully attest, by the Nine, to have met an Imga. I've heard drunken boasts, and tall tales, but that's all I've heard. You'd think a man researching these apes would meet one easily! but I've never even met a man who has met one of the Nobles of the Trees. I will lay out all my evidence in time, but you must first understand why the Mer would play such a long, dull, cruel, trick on us.

The Mer think us all fools, at best. This you know, of course. At worst, Mer think Men responsible for their fall from immortality, the source of all discomfort, disease, and death in the world. Our existence offends them. The Mer, Altmer especially, imagine slight after slight, blaming Men for their own problems. One of our greatest 'offenses', perhaps even greater than the theft of immortality, was the Dance Atop the Adamantine Tower.

The Alessian Order and the Marukhati Selective, frothing with rage at Merish rule (as we ought to be, today), sought to free Men and cleanse Akatosh of the corruption of Auri-El. They scaled the Adamantine Tower of Balfiera, and danced atop it for One Thousand and Eight Years. This act alone was enough to inspire generation upon generation of Merish hate for Men, for the Mer praise none before Auri-El.

The Elves found many ways to exact revenge upon Men, but their subtlest, most derisive, was the invention of the Imga. Marukh was said, at the time, to be an ape. I don't know if that is true, or to paint a picture. Perhaps he was a great large brute of a man, with incredible strength and anger and dark hair. Perhaps he was one of those blessed few, chosen, touched and sent to Nirn by the Divines themselves, another like Morihaus the Bull-Man. But seizing this vivid description of their great enemy, the Mer began simmering a plot for century upon century. Some cowardly Altmer, sat on an overstuffed cushion in some tall peak in Alinor, decided he would make a fool of all Men, and Marukh, too.

This craven Altmer wrote up a new race, found only in Valenwood, cruelly laughing to himself. He described Men as he saw them. Brutes. Putrid, hairy, inarticulate, and worst of all, aspiring to be Mer. The Altmer on his pillow drew all these faults out as far as he could. All the tales of the Ape Men tell us they pretend to titles, they perfume their noses, they can barely speak, and they admire the Altmer. The Altmer in his tower twisted the knife one last time. The Imga disdain Men. According to this sneering Altmer, even the foulest Men hate Men.

So the Mer played a grand joke upon Men, laughing at us when we believe them, seeking to forever drive a wedge between the Empire's peoples. And the worst part:

We fell for it.

It's in our books, our histories, our stories, our legends, and no Man has ever suspected the truth. Even though there are no histories of the Imga, no tales of their gods, their customs, their homes. Just the faintest, most disgusting pictures painted in them, either by Mer, holding back laughter, or Men, taken in by those same Mer.

Certainly the most famous perpetuation of the Imga Myth lies in the Pocket Guide to the Empire, First Edition. This infamous tome was replete with inaccuracies, the most damaging of which was the story of the Ape Men. Sadly, despite being gathered for the Emperor himself, the author was taken in by the stories of the local Bosmer. It is clear the author had never met or seen an Imga. He simply accepted all the most derisive attributes the Elves claim, and didn't doubt them. The Pocket Guide is certainly the most well-read book to spread the myth, but not the most pathetic.

The Red Kitchen Reader was written by Simocles Quo. Poor Simocles, a fellow Imperial, was taken in by the Imga Myth, never even questioning it. He wrote at some length about an encounter he had with the Imga. He writes "I was invited to join with a small colony of Imga monkeys, who alone could gather these succulent little mice. Because they lived only on the slenderest branches of the trees, and only on the ends of those same branches, the Imga had to climb beneath them and jump up to "pick" the Kollopi from their perches. Imga are, of course, naturally dexterous, but I was then relatively young and spry, and they let me help them."

This is a clear fabrication. Quo sought to impress his reader, and claimed he, alone amongst Men, was fit enough to gather the Kollopi. This story doesn't even fit the Myth! The Imga are brooding, giant beasts, and think themselves above Men. Yet they are nimble enough to climb the highest branches of a tree? And invite a Man to hunt? The Altmer have laughed bitterly at you for years, poor Simocles Quo.

Now I shall continue to debunk the more obscure texts about the Imga I've encountered in my travels...