The Origins and nature of Sheogorath

So... I found this on my computer earlier in the week... Literally. Some friends and I were having drinks and playing Heroes of the Storm, and the topic of Sheogorath cam up. In my drunken, addled state I seem to have tried to explain how Sheo came to be, and had the... Hypothesis saved as I was recording the nights shenanigans. So, o decided to fix it up a bit and post something silly for a change.

Now, we all know that the origin of Sheogorath is hazy, linked to the murder of Lorkhan, the curse of Jyggalag, and the advent of madness and uncertainty. All these are reconcilable I say, and here is how.

The Convention and the death of Lorkhan changed the Aubris. It created a hole in the painting of reality, a deaf note in the song of creation. The expression of change and chaos, the heart of Sithis, was gone, a gaping maw in his wake. What had been done was impossible, and yet it had happened, and so this hole was madness.

In the absence of change and it's expression, Order became unbalanced. It's most obsessive expression, Jyggalag, became ascendant. While the Kalpa's dragged on in Mundus, Jyggalag, lacking no balance, spread his influence throughout Oblivion, bent on absolute order through the Aubris.

Unable to oppose him, the Daedra conceived a plan to curse Jyggalag and restore equilibrium. Mephala wove an elastic cord of silken lies. Hermaeus Mora hid their intentions amongst his forbidden library. Peyrite ordered his charges to build a bridge across the maw of madness. Vaermina shrouded the pit in nightmares. Namira gathered the roundest of severed heads while Molag forged a chain of cold iron and Nocturnal stood by waking her head at her younger siblings.

When all was assembled, Azura, smiling sweetly, went to fetch Jyggalag. Knocking softly upon his crystal dome she was greeted with.

"What! It's *Organize my collection of atomically identicle crystal prisims time!"

"Dearest brother," Azura chooed, "Sister Mephala has conceived of the most splendid game, would you like to join us in playing?"

Of course Jyggalag could not refuse. He despised when the other Spirits created new things, forcing him to find a proper place for them, but he could not let them have their games without proper rules.

He burst from his perfect crystalline domain and, alongside Azura, stormed across Oblivion to where the others played on the bridge. They had taken Mephala's cord and Namira's heads, and were using the former to fling the latter from one side to the other, Hercine flopping after the projectiles with his tongue flapping.

Jyggalag was furious. Slingshots already existed, and this was not one of them! He roared in anger, and stormed over to his fellows screaming "THATS NOT WHAT THAT IS FOR!"

Jyggalag snatched up the cord, startling the others (as Hercine sauntered proudly back, dropping a head to Molag's feet and panting loudly, seemingly oblivious to what was going on around him). The Prince of Order examined the cord a moment, testing it's strength and spring, then decided it's place..

'This is how this is to he used!" He exclaimed, stomping to the middle of the bridge and tying it securely to one great spar. He climbed up onto the railing...

Behind him, Boethia cut the line, replacing it instead with the heavy chain.

Jyggalag jumped. The nightmares vanished, and the Great maw of madness swallowed the Prince of Order.

"Alright, nothing to see here." Boethia clapped his hands, turning towards his sisters Mephala and Azura, "Hey, wanna go screw with the Aldmer?"

The remaining princes dispersed, leaving the howling madness below to become Sheogorath.

But they made a fatal mistake. They left the chain secured, and eventually, Jyggalag would climb free. Finally escaping the madness of the lit, he was enraged at what his mad-self had wrought, and set to destroy it all to restore his perfect order.

But always the first step was putting things in their place... By falling into the hole, Jyggalag himself had created something new, had created Sheogorath. By Jyggalag's own nature, Sheogorath HAD to exist now. But the others hadong since departed for other places, leaving only Jyggalag to take on the mantle of Sheogorath.

Again and again, the Prince of Order leapt into the pit, and crawled back out. Again and again, Sheogorath was, then was not.

But Sheogorath-that-was grew bored. The pattern had become an order, a logic in an of its self. He set plans in motion to break the cycle.

So, Sheogorath found the most bat shit crazy fucker he could. Pelinal the Crusader. Dude was nutters through and through, and the Madgod sent him a text:

PARTY AT MY PLACE. 30 BEFORE GREYMARCH.

Alas, Pelinal got himself killed before he checked his phone. So the cycle continued.

Until the next person put on the Armour of the Crusader and checked the 2000 year old text message.

Being a generally crazy, gamer sort, the Champion of Cyrodiil wasted no time. He traveled to the Shivering Isles, constructed the Madstaff, and when Jyggalag managed to climb from the pit...

He smacked him over the head and jumped over the edge (with no chain or cord) screaming "YOLO BITCHES!".

Thus, Jyggalag was freed, and the expression of chaos made perminent, bringing ballance.

To paraphrase Ryan Haywood of Roosterteeth... Sheogorath is the one in the hole!