On the Nature of Puns Concerning the Ilyadi So-Called Fairy Giants

[part of a folio found shoved between the volumes of the third edition pocket-guide to the empire in the library at Gwylim, the contents of which contained various angry and badly written rants on the subject of Altmeri racism. The text has had its grammar corrected and profanity removed for public readership]

ilyadi Ilyadi ILYADI

Do those fools back in Glass-Rock think us as big as they are? Well perhaps we are if no one spotted this before. The annals of Altmer lore are so full of such wondrous and fantastical beasts who no one has ever heard of before, and they take great delight in trying to insert them into our folklore.

The Altmer claim everyone knows stories about the fairies, have you ever heard a one? I hadn't until I read the books about them penned by the Piss Elves. I was long baffled by these stories and the creatures within and I thought I'd never be not baffled. But I've figured it out, worked it out, dragged it down and beat it to death and made it tell me it's secrets with its dying breath. And those so-called Ilyadi fairy giants with all those eyes were the key to it all.

Ilyadi Eye-lyad Ayleid

It's like those damn Imgas! The Altmer make up these stupid fairy tale races so they can insult you to your face and trick you into telling your children about how those Altmer are so much smarter than your ancestors, so much more valiant than your ancestors, so much more regal than your ancestors and get your kids to cheer as their kin are defeated by Altmer heroes. Men become ape slaves, the star-minded Ayleid become mutant giants covered in eyeballs who got driven off from Summerset, Bosmer become stupid horny Welwa beasts. Hell they tried to pull it off with the Dwemer but I guess even lying thieving Altmer couldn't deny the power and terror of the Basement Elves.

How many beasts we've let into our bestiaries are just coded insults from the Altmer? How many of these insults do we have to take before we wipe the smile off these smirking so-called High Elves?