Never Drink with a Horseman - A traditional Bosmeri tavern song (Centaur Stories 2)
From the collection "Sounds of the Forests" by Phylandra Ivydale
> My pa drank wine with a horseman,
>When he was ten and three.
>Went straight to his head; he took off his threads,
>and let it all hang free.
>-
>Now this would not be too regretting,
>were it not my auntie's wedding.
>They chased him down as he ran around
>on the tables of meat and cheese.
>-
>But young men fold at the best of times,
>and my pa was the family runt,
>He fell to his knees, and the "wedding fruittese"*
>got a glaze of last night's hunt!
>-
>Stomping and drinking
>-
>My aunt chugged beer with a horseman,
>To pretend she wasn't there.
>Her eyes went down and she wondered aloud
>what was packed among the hair.
>-
>The horseman grinned an he told her
>what he'd said to four bridesmaids,
>"What Arkay took when he gave me a look,
>Xarxes gave me back in spades".
>-
>But my aunt was not impressed
>and the liquor brought it out,
>"If ya started out as a human,
>that still ain't much to brag about!"
>-
>Stomping and drinking
>-
>My gran shot piss** with a horseman,
>as the night was wrapping up.
>The guests were gone but the band played on,
>"Well that was a $^#@-ing bust!"
>-
>"Why not come to my high loft?
>You seem you keep up with me
>My husband's passed out, from the last drinking bought
>where you bested him twenty to three."
>-
>Yes you should never drink with a horseman,
>However polite and meek.
>and if your will fail just remember the tale
>of my uncle with four feet! HEY!
>-
>Stomping, yelling, and drinking
*Although somewhat out of style now, traditional Breton wedding cakes were once the height of fashion at aristocratic Bosmer weddings. Nobles further inland, or just those who couldn't afford to import flour from a province away, created mock cakes out of fruit. They dubbed them "Fruittese", a word doesn't actually mean anything in any language I am aware of. As far as we can tell it caught on because it "sounded Breton-ish".
** Shorthand for "Elk Piss". A vulgar term for a kind of cheap Bosmeri liquor only drunk as a last resort when all other sources of alcohol have been exhausted.