The Know-All of the Elder Scrolls

Here's another short story for you, this time about some dudes that try to understand an Elder Scroll.

We have always been fascinated with the Elder Scrolls. Few people know they exist. Fewer know what they are capable of. Nobody knows how they came into being, or how they work. But that won't stop us. Because we are beset by this disease called curiosity - an innate, insatiable desire to know just what the n'wah is the deal with those fragments of creation.

Thus, we planned. We contacted several of our thievery associates that said there were hundreds, if not thousands of Scrolls locked up in the White-Gold Tower. Just how would we get in there? Turns out, all we had to do was knock out one of them Moth Priests, steal his garbs and head inside. Easy enough. The real challenge came in surviving an encounter with what the Scrolls would present us.

We always knew those that read the Elder Scrolls go blind, insane or become paralyzed, at best. Were we aware of the risks? Absolutely. Did we care? Not at all. We had to see for ourselves. We had to know.

We finally made it to the Moth Priests' library at the top of the Tower. It was glorious. Elder Scroll after Elder Scroll, stacked on top of each other. We could barely control ourselves. Soon however, we regained our compulsion, and decided. My friend randomly picked out a Scroll from the shelf, and we made ready.

We sat down on a nearby table, the Elder Scroll placed catiously in front of us. One last time, we all made sure we wanted to do this. We couldn't resist. We had to. And so, with the strength in our arms and resolution in our minds, we opened it. We didn't know what to expect, but whatever it was, it would be magnificent.

To our surprise, the Scroll was blank. But soon, strange patterns and words emerged, shining on the canvas; beneath it, above it, inside it. We became mersmerized by its glory. One by one, words emerged that we managed to understand. It became clearer, and clearer, until it revealed:

PICK.

A CARD.

And the Elder Scroll presented us with a deck of playing cards. And we picked. And we were amazed. Lo and behold, the Elder Scroll revealed what we had picked. Mighty mammaries of Dibellla, it was incredible!

We spent the rest of our lives blind, paralyzed from the neck down and high as kites on skooma, but forever in ecstacy thanks to experiencing the powerful know-all of an Elder Scroll.

Just another comical story for y'all. Hope you liked it. I think I'll write some more humorous texts in the future. I like it; we don't have enough comedy on here. Now, whether it is comedy is up for you to decide, of course. I thought it'd be funny.