Studies of a Stranded Scholar, Part III

By Akatosh, if this isn't the coldest place on Nirn, I don't know where! So here I am, in the frozen wastes of northern Akavir. Everywhere I look there's snow, ice, frozen mountains, more snow and defniately more ice. Unfortunately, I'm gonna have to spend a whole year here. Yay for me.

Day 656 - I'm beginning to suspect they know but don't really care.

So the Kingdom of Kamal. A giant, frozen wasteland that makes Atmora look like the Gilderglade. Motherfetcher it is cold here! I am wearing three layers of thick, Akaviri fur and still frozen to the bone! I have to spend eighteen hours of the day hunkered inside a small cave with a lit fire I'm struggling to keep alive, and can only venture outside during high noon since that's when it's the not coldest - saying 'warmest' here would be a misnomer.

In fact, this place is abnormally cold, even by Tamrielic standards. I've never experienced a place as cold as this. Thankfully the power of knowledge is keeping me alive. That and recycling my own urine. But anyway, it is my theory that this place isn't just cold for natural reasons. No, I have formulated a theory surrounding the Kamal that, to me, makes a whole lotta sense, and I've yet to see a more convincing one. So here we go.

There are a lot of crazy, supernatural things on Nirn. That is a fact. According to my theory, Kamal is no different. You see, the cold is not just here because it is very far north; no, I believe the cold, is a sentient being. I know, it sounds crazy, but hear me out: Kamal consists of two forces: The snow-demons, and the cold. When the snow-demons thaw out, they attack the Tang Mo, are defeated every year, and retreat to their own lands to recover. New snow-demons are built out of ice and snow, that later thaw out and ready to attack. Meanwhile, when they are all frozen, the cold acts as sort of conduit between the snow-demons: They all think, plan and plot in unison, sort of like a hive mind. The cold tells them what to do, and the snow-demons listen.

When they thaw out, however, the snow-demons lose the hive mind and become wild beasts whose only unifying trait is their desire to destroy the Tang Mo. That is why they fail; no command structure, no formations, no strategy. In the second era, for reasons unknown, a gigantic block of ice broke off from Kamal and floated to Tamriel, where the confused snow-demons attacked the people of Morrowind and Skyrim, but ultimately failed, because again, they were mindless beasts.

The cold is frustrated that the snow-demons are unable to work in unison when thawed out, but being, well, an element of nature it cannot really do anything about it. Because of this, the Kamal snow-demons are doomed to fail, every time they try again.

Does this theory sound crazy? Yes, it absolutely does. Is it because I'm maybe going crazy? Who knows?! What was that, Bigsby? Oh of course. Don't worry, Sheogorath, I'll be right at home with the insane Tang Mo, sooner or later! He, he, ha-ha-HA, hehh...

Sorry. I couldn't really come up with any other, creative idea, but this is the best I got. Stay tuned for the Tang Mo and their insane society.