[A Khajiit C0DA] On the Healing of Nirn

The Miracle of Union – an interview on the anniversary of the Return Ald Sotha Below 6E 100

“You want to know about the Miracle of Union, muthsera? I don’t know why you’re asking me, I’m just a merchant – you want them scholars at the University. I don’t even go Up anymore; why would I? All that’s up there is a Memory and not a pleasant one. But alright, if it will get you out of my hair I’ll answer your questions.

“It all started a few years after the Wedding, with that Khajiit’s book; caused quite a stir, it did. What? No, muthsera, I didn’t read it. The Sermons of our Goddess are enough for me and I don’t need no cat-philosophy. There’s some that go for that sorta thing but not me. Anyway, this Khajiit puts out a book and the whole Temple goes crazy, calling him ‘Prophet’ and what not: I don’t see why. Well he doesn’t like the attention and goes and hides down in the cat-land and that was that.

“Only it wasn’t. A few years after that book one of them scholars at the University thinks he sees something different on the Remains. Well everyone says he’s daft but a few of us went Up next Landfall and sure enough, there’s patches of green on the Her. Damnedest thing, that. And the halves – you know She was split, right? – the halves seem closer. Well it was a pretty sight but had nothing to do with me, you know? I don’t meddle in affairs above my station and that all seems like stuff for gods and heroes. Have to say though – I did drink with Talos once or twice and that’s one n’wah who won’t quit. Haven’t seen in a while though…

“Alright stop pestering me, muthsera; the least you could do is offer a mer a drink if you’re going to make him talk this much. Or maybe buy one of these scarves for your lady-friends, eh? That’s fine Masserian silk there, come straight from the Worms. Well I don’t care if you don’t believe me, you damned n’wah, because it’s true. What’s that? Alright, I’ll finish the story if you buy one of my scarves; that seems a fair deal to me.

“So things went on for years after that and people talked about Her coming back together and lookin’ like Her old self. Just over a century ago a bunch of fellas got the idea to go an’ visit; I hear that Khajiit was with him, though I don’t know how a Khajiit lives that long. Little strange, don’t you think? They got one of them voidships and a crew of every race on Masser and set out to see what was happenin’. Pfft. Like there’s anything there that you can’t find here without travelling half-way across the Aurbis. Like this fine necklace here – see that? Pure Masserian silver from that mine over House Hlervu way. Not a bit of Blood in it, either: pure silver. Oh I know some go for that stuff – ‘Lorkhan’s Blood’ and all that guar-shite – and maybe it’s good for swords and what-not but no lady worth her salt would wear it. You get me, muthsera? I bet your lady-friends would like this piece don’t you? If you pay me good I might even direct you to an Enchanter I know who could use his magic to make the ladies a little more agreeable, if you get me, outlander. What? I know you promised to buy a scarf if I told you the story but it wouldn’t hurt to get your lady-friends somethin’ pretty would it? Or maybe you like fellas? No I’m not judgin’ you outlander, ‘your spear is your business’ that’s what I say. Hell, there’s a fella Up yonder has a thing for guars, but a guar don’t gussy-up so well, do they? Well that’s his business. But you look like the kinda fella who takes care of his ladies and…now that’s a fair deal there. Scarf and necklace, I’ll just put these right here for you…

“Oh, the Miracle? Right, so these fellas – mananauts or some damned thing – go Over There and…I know it sounds crazy…find Men. Well that caused a stir here, let me tell you! We thought they were all killed in Landfall, and maybe they were, but there they were walking and talking and philosophizing about Her and the Temple said it was all ‘cause of that Khajiit. You shoulda heard the priests arguin’! So a buncha folk decide they want to go back an’ they called it the Return. Well that’s fine for them and Goddess bless ‘em, but I was born on Masser and I’ll die here. Though I’ll tell you, muthsera, I hear things aren’t like they were. Over There. Uh-huh. Not all the Men came back, just the Imperials. No Nords or Redguards or Nedes or nothin’. And no Elves. Everyone got all nervous thinkin’ the Thalmor would come back but not a single Altmer in sight. Pretty suspicious don’t you think?

“Well, that’s the story, muthsera. That Khajiit’s Over There stirrin’ up gods-know what kinda trouble with the Men but things are nice and quiet here. Don’t see the gods around too much though and that’s a damned shame. That Talos sure could drink…and he didn’t mind payin’. Now that’s a sign of a right-good muthsera right there: n’wah or no. Had a stink on his breath, though. I tried to get him to use this here Worm-paste; smells just like a Spring mornin’ don’t it?...but he was too rough for that. You know this would help you with those ladies, muthsera, not havin’ breath like a guar-pit. Them fellas too, though I guess a guar wouldn’t care, if that’s where your spear leads you. Now this tube here is only…oh alright, muthsera, places to go and all. The scarf and necklace: that will be 240 gold. Now don’t make me argue, outlander, I gave you a good story and some juicy gossip to boot. That’s fine. Now you remember to tell your friends about ole’ Severn’s stall, eh?

“Yep, ALMSIVI in every hour, outlander. Pleasure doin’ business with ya.”