Drake of Blades - Sister's Letter

>I hope, I find tomorrow the time for the essays about psychology in TES I want to write. As a puffer here my attempt on the Drake of Blades as an character on the autism spectrum (as confirmed by the dev, probaply tends to asperger).

"Dear Sister ...,

I almost wrote your actual name, forgetting you are know part of this... commando. And I know you dared me to not write at all in sake of the secrecy. But I just wanted to tell you how the things are going at home since you left 2 years ago. It is a long time ago and we heard about the attack on the imperial city. And I have a feeling you are involved in the... things there. (Please let it be no fights)

....

I shall tell you from mother how proud she is of you now and that she knows, it is a right thing to do, what you do. Translated: She is very worried and so I am, when also with more trust in your person. You were always the tough one, never seems striked down by any emotional loss, doing your work like it would be the last thing you have to do. I am sometimes envy on the strenght you show, always trying to ignore if anyone want to push you, or falling in unwanted things.

....

So, take this as greetings from home, maybe you will take it to heart, helping you in what you do. Although I doubt this as I know my sister.

In Love, your sibling

P.s.: How did it come that you never mentioned why you leaved in the first place?"

The woman in the dark armor lowerd her hand with the letter between the gentle fingers, the eyes locked on the subject of matter. It was quite in this hidden place and no one would be around to see her face, but she kept it hidden by this red scarf she likes. It was a matter of fact to stay unknown to any possible thread, not that she works under open sky and in full light anymore. Safety is a castle, practice is a habit. And it occured not silly to her, as she was reading the letter from her almost forgotten sister in the pure dark. Not forgotten, but it didn't come to her mind again to answer her. Was there a need? If she would had been already dead by the time? But the letter arrived her somehow and she read it. Now, one year later it came to her mind to take this as duty, in the heat of the siege.

Oh sister, always the naive, if the Drake really understand it all. Worries, maybe. But a need to write against roles of safety? If enemies would know their family? But at least it would be a lie, and the hate of that lie was stronger than reason. But how could her family understand anything? How could they stand the fact that they were one of the reasons to go at all? Cries lifting in the wind, she has to finish her answer fast.

"Dear Sister,

I know my answer is late, but here it is. I forgot my name almost as well. Names are nothing here and even dangerous. Our code forbids openly identity in the spionage, all is hidden, names and I don't like it either, but it is the reality here. But you have nothing to fear, I am going well. Tell this mother. Tell her... that I think about you both. [Yeah, thinking once or twice in the war. How did this come? But missing was a lie. I know, I will come back and see them again.]

....

And: I do the right thing. At least for me. As I told you after visiting this college in Corinthe. Everything is okay. They seemed friendly, but couldn't help me. Told me that I was just wired different. [But they don't know how it is to be labeld 'socially awkward' without knowing the reasons for that] So, I have to figure it out first, how I can fit in all. To be more myself without playing a role. I know that you... know how I am. But the truth is: You have no idea, nor do I. But I will find my answers in seeking a purpose where I can just be ME. No more words, no more eyes. Then I will come back.

And trying to be honest with you.... no, I never lied, I just not told it and it would be better you never tell mom till I am back. People are foreign for me, hard to read. I don't know these 'rituals' of the face or what one wants from me if they have other intentions. I never wanted to hurt anyone or push you away. At least I know that mother never really accept my personality but I don't even know why. [Why did I never asked? Simple and yet not.] And I will not bother with new pain from my doing. You have to wait, but with this letter... you will have a guarantee to not worry at all. [Is this writing really about giving releave instead of ending a story?] Sister, you might be a better person than I am, better for... But maybe you are also right with me. I have strenght, just not the kind you have in mind. My strenght is it to live on and face my insecurities for the sake of the empire. I will not fall for this.

So greet mother and tell her, I will come back soon, promised.

Your sister with the blades"

The moon arises and the cries become louder. Time to do her duty. Time to fulfill her will in becoming herself.