A Vehk Egg Scramble Part II: The Pomegranate Disorder: Building the Provisional House of Depersonalization

In the previous chapter of the Scramble, I defined what the Vehk Egg is, and interpreted what clues were in the Thirty-Six Lessons relating to Vivec’s egg form and the journey of the “netchman’s wife”. Today I will now focus on on the Pomegranate Banquet and see what clues can be derived from the meeting of the Egg and the Deadric Lord of Domination . Once again there will be speculation as we're chasing the echoes of a mortal that became a god. Also, caution as the following themes could be dark.

You can find part one here

Molag Bal seen the Vehk Egg and was covetous of the creative force contained within Vivec. It’s often said that the Deadric Lords are jealous of the Mundus, even though the refuse to give pieces of themselves to it. As they remain uncontributive, Daedroth are baren in the world of Nirn. So how is it that Vivec and Bal had children? I believe that the story of the Vehk Egg’s first marriage to be allegory, a way for Vivec to describe his mortal past, it’s baggage, and how he had to erase it to make himself the appropriate vessel to birth the new dream.

>Who is Molag Bal?

I think one could perceive Bal as an analog for the other important figure in mortal Vehk’s mortal life, the abusive father figure. If it was not the Netchman himself, it was likely a (probably male) person that shaped Vehk and his actions, even after he gained his living divinity. Perhaps if not the netchmen, then maybe his “father” sold him to prostitution. Either way, this is what lead to mortal Vehk being a prostitute like the text What My Beloved Taught Me implies. The journey to rid himself of this abuser’s influence on himself is perhaps the largest part of the latter parts of his Lessons. As to why it may be the father? In the last chapter I speculated that Vivec was born of a rape victim. Imagine how a simple netchmen would treat a child who killed his wife, had no blood ties to, and like Bal, could have been unable to have children of his own. In Sermon Twelve, “With these magic words, the King of Rape added another: 'CHIM,' which is the secret syllable of royalty.” And who rules over us as children if not our parents? Vivec at this point is without feet and trapped, suggesting a state of dependence and inmobility, as a child who is not of age. Vivec also initially submits to the abuse willingly, as he tells Bal “You may have my head for an hour.” Perhaps this could suggest how an abused child may not understand and object to abuse, as it’s all they’ve ever known. If the abuser hadn’t been dominating Vivec as a child, at the very least we could assume it was before his maturity and before his social mobility.

>A headless egg?

“Vivec lay with Molag Bal for eighty days and eight, though headless.” Sermon Fourteen. The whole theme of headlessness Vivec had during the Pomegranate Banquet could be a reference to a form of Depersonalization disorder (DPD), which is described as disorder where a person suffers from disconnection or separation from their own body, feelings, and emotions. Sufferers can see themselves separate from their bodies and what is happening to them, possibly having out-of-body-experiances, or become unable to accept their own reflection. DPD is “thought to be caused largely by severe traumatic lifetime events, including childhood abuse, accidents, natural disasters, war, torture, and bad drug experiences.” It’s not far of a stretch to imagine that some being subjected to habitual sexual abuse could develop this disorder.

>CHIMed Egg

“The holy one returned at last, Vehk, golden with wisdom. His head found its body had been tenderly used.” The moment of emerged maturity. This is where Vehk realized what his abuser was doing to him. It was in one of these moments of depersonalization that Vivec would eventually be able to see the tower of the sideways wheel, as it can only be seen outside one’s self. And he realizes that he is the tower, the spokes and bleeding heart void a mirror to his own Egg-form. “I am more than a used thing, I am the Tower.” He gains the greater realization of self he needs to gain his independence of his abuser and strike back at him. This is why the Dunmer subject themselves to the Deadra, to be abused to the point of being cut into better shapes. In having yourself stripped away, you can realize what you are, what you are not, then what you can be. The victim can find what it would take for them to take their power back. What you can be is more than what you were, and what Vivec was, was a beaten and abused child, but what he could become was anything. This realization would be the motivation for Vivec his whole life.

>Revenge

Once Vehk could grasp the extent of his abuser’s crimes against him, he carried on with submitting, even participating. He “set about to teach Molag Bal in the ways of belly-magic. They took their spears out and compared them” then “But Vivec made of his spear a more terrible thing, from a secret he had bitten off from the King of Rape. And so he sent Molag Bal tumbling into the crack of the biters” in Sermon Fourteen shows Vivec weaponizing his sexuality and using it gets his abuser to drop his guard. I believe Vehk killed his abuser, but he was shaped by the them, and would take things he learned from them further into life.

>Egg Trauma.

“Vivec wept as he slew all those around him with his terrible new spear. He named it MUATRA, which is Milk Taker.” Muatra is the embodiment of Vivec’s sexuality, a tool he would use as a weapon that he would use to get what he wanted in life, and manipulate and destroy his enemies. I know that the idea that Muatra is an anagram for Trauma is nothing new, but here it fits perfectly. In taking the Milk of others, Vivec’s weapon is sex. Not only would it feed him, he could use sex to set up the downfall of those who would try and dominate him again. He would use his trauma against them. However, the cost of using this weapon was the inability for him to have and maintain any meaningful or lasting relationships with anyone. Even his beloved hortator.

>The Provisional House Disorder

For Depersonalization to become a disorder, it must be recurring. If Vehk were to use sex as a weapon, he would not partake in it. This is what his Provisional House was for. When he used his trauma for exchange, he’d do it willingly but would separate himself from his body. But why would someone abused like that continue the behavior? For an example of this I’m reminded of an Episode of Joss Whedon’s Angel tv show titled Untouched. It was about the title character helping a girl with psychic powers named Bethany who was secretly being groomed as an assassin by an evil law firm. Its strongly implied that the girl was sexually abused by her father, and his very mention would trigger her power to throw anyone away from her through the air, and when he makes an appearance, triggers a psychic powered explosion. Here’s an excerpt from the script from a scene where Bethany tries to seduce the hero helping her.

>Angel grabs her hand as she slides it under the covers and pulls it off him: "I said stop it!" Bethany pulls away screaming "Get off me!" as the bed rattles around for a moment. Angel: "You wanna make love, but you don't wanna be touched?" Bethany gives a short laugh: "Make love? What are you, from the eighteenth century? - I was just... I just wanted..." Angel: "What'd you want?" Bethany: "Are you shocked I'm a great big slut?" Angel: "You find that I'm not easily shocked, Bethany." Bethany sits down on the chest at the end of Angel's bed. Bethany: "Everyone thinks I'm so fragile and innocent. Men love it." Angel: "Do you?" Bethany: "Do I love it? - Who cares. - I'm - I'm - like the chambermaid. I just leave. When a guy's on me, I... I made up the room, I showed him in - and I leave till he's gone. - Come back and - clean up the mess."

I believe Vivec would go on to do the same and describes a good example of DPD. He’d seek out sex as an opportunity to further himself, but retreat into his safe place separate from his body during. His sexual encounters would be carried out without his mind, without LOVE. Love being what he was missing when he tried to force Amaranth on his own in Sermon Nineteen "Your house is safe now So why is it-- Your house is safe now So why is it--"

>What do the offspring with Bal represent?

This will be the address in Part III of the Vehk Egg Scramble series as this has already ran long. For now I'll say that they are part of the baggage of the abuse mortal Vehk suffered that he would have to free himself of to prepare himself for his marriage to Jubal to be the success he desired.

Sources https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization_disorder

http://www.buffyworld.com/angel/transcripts/026_tran.html

Sequels are up, link to Part I up above

Part III: An Egg With Four Corners

Part IV: Children of Egg Trauma, the First Four

Part V: Remaining Beaten Egg-Children

Also let me know if I should continue the series or abandon it for other projects.

Edited Spelling, missing words