Alteration is not as harmless as it seems.

Tel Ur, Azura’s Coast, Vvardenfell

12th of Sun’s Height, E3 429

To all the young, aspiring magicians that come to me searching for alteration tutelage:

Alteration is not a harmless school of magic, and you often underestimate it as a school whose only spells are ironflesh and waterwalking, with no possible offensive use (if you think this, you're probably too uncreative, but I'm not getting into details regarding all the wicked things you can do to others with alteration in this note). Basic alteration is sometimes cheating life for an advantage, like levitation, and playing around with reality, but to master alteration… one must learn again how to live, in a deconstructed, weakened and unstable reality you created for yourself.

If compared to destruction, let’s say that you learn how to summon fire under all circumstances, you become a master of the flame and you don’t even need to make a casting motion to make it appear, or you can sear enemies in the flutter of an eye. But, instead of being able to just summon and enjoy your powers when needed, you start needing to become concentrated into not burning absolutely everything all the time; if you become distracted enough, or you’re in a bad mood, your house can suddenly catch fire. You need to constantly think and concentrate into not setting things fire, to specially think about dead fires and the objects around you as flame-proof… and this requires willpower. Otherwise, you’ll also burn down and the world around you (if you are strong enough, of course).

Having a moderate knowledge of alteration comes with a price… You learn that reality is a falsehood, created by dead gods to prevent us from disappearing (or equaling and replacing them, if you see it that way) and to create a stable little world, which you disturb by bending it to your will. At first, the simple spells you know don’t feel much like you’re harming the integrity of the world, but as you strive to become a master, you start fiddling in things that do, in a small scale. How to extract all water from any living thing and ground, melt anything by toying with its chemical structure, even perhaps make things vanish out of existence… there are multiple theories that a group of very skilled alterationists could negate air out of existence, or evaporate all the oceans, even maybe sink the whole continent.

This is not a matter of morality; there are mages that do evil and mages that do right and mages that do absolutely nothing in every discipline, and we need to use the powers that we have wisely (and fools who try to do things like those mentioned above accidentally kill themselves by trying to do something as stupid, or get stopped, we need not worry about them), and sometimes the wise thing to do is just never to pick it up. Alteration comes with soul sickness, and no one good enough at this is safe from it (and I have a bad case of it). The advanced alterationist starts with sensory issues, since they start being able to listen and see the mechanisms of this world (also the plane where spirits and magic roam, that occupies the same place as this Mundus, and being this over saturated with information can be overwhelming), and slowly, they start having trouble attaching to reality and they can’t go back to their normal life as before; many have grounding sensory “mechanisms” to wake up, but many don’t because sometimes nothing works (and it gets worse; for example, I had an intrinsically carved dwemer puzzlebox that helped me with this, but as my soul sickness got worse, I needed to resort to other methods).

Many experts get tired of constantly wrestling with existing or fail because their will is not strong enough, just give up and vanish, or they get consumed into their own reality and are unable to follow the currents of the world and time (this is often dismissed as dementia or old age by unknowing people; I know many of my fellow Telvanni that silently suffer from this).

To be able to live correctly and master alteration, one must have considerable willpower, or it’ll consume you. You learned to use alteration to weaken reality for you, now you must use it to also reinforce reality (for you start to unconsciously exist in weakened reality you created for yourself) to live. Be convinced that you exist, that your will and force is what you brought to this point and what keeps you alive (many of us follow Boethiah, or Their philosophy), force your own existence into the world to prove that you are a living being.

This is a heavy task and a difficult lifestyle to carry, and not for everyone, and not everyone can withstand it for a lifetime.

I do not intend to make people misunderstand this as that alteration is only for a select special few, as that I want to keep all this knowledge to myself, or that this school of magic only carries pain and despair. Alteration is truly my life’s passion, and was a crucial tool in my personal fight against my soul sickness, and I don’t know if I’d even be alive and functioning without it. I was willing to pay the price, and reality has never been real to me as well, what could I lose? But I was warned about all the possible side effects and consequences, while many people that want to pick it up are not. This is the purpose of this note; consider deeply, look deep into yourself, reflect before submerging yourself into the half-truths of alteration.

To those who are in need of alteration because of reasons like mine, and struggle with the tangibility of the world as I did and need help with all of this, the doors of my studio are open.

- Telvanni Nelyn Nivenu, former councilor of House Telvanni in Vvardenfell district, alteration master.