Sun, Stars, Spirit

So, you want to know what happened to the moons, and naturally you assume Khajiit will know. Well, why should we? They aren’t our moons. We are their servants, Cyrodiil, not the other way around.

Heh.

But Majra’zho likes you, Cyrodiil, so he will tell you what secrets he does know, and you should feel honored at that, for as Fadomai the first Clan-Mother kept her secrets well hidden, we do not give out ours lightly.

But first, a question for you: What are the moons? What are they truly?

Ha! “The corpse of Shezarr,” he says. And my littermates were Dremora Churls. Oh, Cyrodiil, you should listen more to that brute the Orcs worship, he’s always said your kind were too literal.

The Dominion would agree with you, though. It’d be the first and last time they’d ever admit to agreeing with a Cyrodiil, but they would. And don’t you see, that’s exactly why Jone and Jode have gone, because the Thalmor agree with you. That was no accident - someone wanted to make sure they agreed with you. Their agreement is probably why you and Majra’zho are still breathing. They only took a false Lorkhaj; imagine if they had found the real thing!

Heh, Majra’zho is not surprised to see you are confused. He was once too, as a kitten, but we Manes, we must know these things, yes? We must learn just how Jone and Jode live alongside our people, so that if something were to happen – something, say, like this – we would know what to do. Oh yes, Majra’zho knows exactly how to bring them back. He could not do it, however; he could not even tell you how it is he would do it, even if that were a secret worth sharing, because by the time he finished, a hundred sunrises would pass and they would have already returned to the sky of their own accord. The elves are very good at taking things, you see, but they are not so good at keeping them hidden.

You know, all this talk of moons reminds Majra’zho of that other funny story you Cyrodiils love to tell. What was it? Something about the sun and an angry spirit, what was his name… Magnus! That was it. The Cat’s Eye, only he’s more of an Eye-Forced-Open, no? Ah, Cyrodiil, yours is a funny people… you are not merely literal, but you’re poets! Poets who take their poetry literally! Ha ha ha!

What’s that? Well, of course you don’t understand what’s so funny. Your mothers must clip off your sense of humor as babes, along with your chord and the tip of your cock. You Cyrodiils are such serious people! You take everything seriously, even the things that are so obviously ridiculous! A hole for a sun, holes for stars… do you even read your own histories? You know of names like Magnus and Merid-Nunda, Mnemo-Li and Xero-Lyg, but never once do you ask yourselves, “How can a hole have a name?”

What is Majra’zho saying? He is saying, Cyrodiil, that there is no difference. Sun-and-Stars, Star-and-Suns, it makes no difference. Do you see? They are the same. They have always been the same.

Editor’s Note: Gaius Contrellius, Imperial Emissary to Torval, Elsweyr, recorded these responses verbatim during an interview with the then-Mane of the Khajiit, Majra’zho Jar’Khaj, on the 22nd of Sun’s Dusk, 4E 99, near the end of the Void Nights. As of the date of this publication, Majra’zho has passed on of natural causes, and his successor, Azra-dar Jar’Khaj, has officially withdrawn from the Empire and allied the Khajiiti states of Anequina and Pelletine with the Aldmeri Dominion.