Plants and Daedra: Garden Warfare

From ‘In Pursuit of Knowledge and Sugar’, by Mazil-jo, self-taught scholar extraordinaire.

“Aedra” and “Daedra” are such ugly words. Gods are gods everywhere, but hairless scholars can be very nitpicky about it. Throughout Tamriel, poor honest folk have to pray in secret because their neighbours do not like their gods. What a sadness. Fortunately, people are not always so blind about the gods. Certainly, they can sometimes be a bit tricky, or moody, or angry, or hungry. But appeasing them on time rather than ignoring them is the wise thing to do.

Take a look at gardeners and farmers, for example. They care about their plants as much as a cat cares about sugar. And they will work honestly, and say their prayers to the accepted gods, but when push comes to shove, they know only Mafala the Clan Mother can save their treasured plants.

They mutter:

“Please, please, pretty please with sugar on top. Mephala, protect my vines from slugs and worms. If you do it, I will sacrifice my prized rose bush in your honour”.

Or something like that. This one’s memory is not always the best, specially when he is under the influence of some completely legal substances.

Why Mafala, you may wonder. The Clan Mother is the lady of secrets, plots, webs, and spiders. Spiders do not eat plants, but they eat pesky bugs. That is good for farmers. And according to a certain group of them, what happens in a garden is far more serious than it seems.

They are called “the Spider Gardeners of Mephala” (that is how they call Mafala in their lands). Secretive, as a cult of the Clan Mother should be, but they were willing to talk to this Khajiit. Perhaps this one's fame as a renowned scholar had reached them. Or perhaps it was because the cousin of my uncle was friends with their leader, a rather sensitive Orc who liked dragonthorns and nightsides. She said:

“This is a War of Metaphors, where the forces of Civilization battle against the forces of Anti-Civilization. To advance to Promised-Damned Future or to return to Sacred-Feared Nothingness. We mortals were given the divine ability to domesticate the world around us to fight for Civilization. Nature has to be ruled or become our enemy. To farm is to build. Before art and culture, war and power, order and institution, there is harvest”.

“Yes, yes, but why Mafala?”.

“Civilization is the cradle of plots and secrets. When the forces of Civilization win, Mephala wins. However, not every god wants the same. When Namira the Rot sends her slugs and worms, we pray to our divine patron to protect the fruits of our labour. In the never-ending war for Civilization, each garden is as important as a Daedric realm. AE MOTUM! AE ALTADOON!”.

So there you have it, esteemed reader. Whenever you see a farmer or a gardener doing their job, remember that they might be soldiers in a war of gods for the fate of the world.

I need more sugar.