Confessions of a Sap addict

Why did I buy it, you ask? I bought it because I needed something to take away the pain. Something to dull the numbness of shock.

I am, or was a Vigilant of Stendarr, I don't even know what year it is. When I saw the smoke from the road, it was already to late. My brothers and sisters in arms were dead. Blood was everywhere.

The dead Vigilants in the Hall were emaciated, bone thin husks. They didn't even look human anymore.

I wandered a lot after that. When I tried to sleep, the images came back. The hollowed bone husks haunted my every waking hour.

The only thing that granted me a reprieve was combat, the chase and glory of the kill. So I became a Bandit. Casting fire and frost at innocents. Do I regret it? Yes. But, there's no use dwelling on regrets.

One day, a fellow Bandit was selling 'Sleeping Tree Sap'. He said it was a "pick me up". I sold him the most valuable thing on me for a bottle of that stuff. My amulet of Stendarr.

That got me a bottle of the stuff. I greedily drank it down, it was a viscous and foul smelling, but it was sickly sweet.

Gods, it was as if the whole world was at my command, I felt several years younger; most of all, I couldn't remember a thing. It was all a blur, years, months and days blended together as I bought more and more of the stuff.

I went on more raids. All my coin was going towards those purple bottles of damnation! I starved myself, so I would get a bigger cut out of the raids. All my efforts where going towards buying another of those purple bottles.

When I tried to quit, I got the shakes and then I got angry. I killed the man who I bought those bottles from. I found his stash and in the dead of night, I ran with bottles of the stuff under my arms.

It quickly dwindled. I became a roaming fool. I attacked anyone who went near me. I could barely remember how to cast spells anymore.

Now, i'm hoping to get clean of the stuff. I'm telling you this as a warning. Don't touch the stuff, I can't remember my damned name! I don't even remember my own parents!

You know why? It's because of that Sap! If i'd just declined the offer, would my life be better? Probably. But this, this is my confession.