Orcs don’t wear diapers

“So what, you just let them crap their pants?”

“No no. You just watch them closely. When they twitch or lean a certain way you just lift ‘em up and pull everything off.”

“What if you’re too late?”

“... Then you wash the clothes. What else would you do?”

“Use moss like a normal person.”

“What?”

“Go into the forest, grab a couple handfuls of leebeard (unless it’s winter, then you gotta fall back on aguss) stick it over the kid’s crotch and tie it in place with some leather. No spills.”

“All Nords do this?”

“Yeah. Well unless you’re from Falkreath. They use that cloth-shit the Imperials do. Just boil and reuse. Same pot they eat from. It’s disgusting.”

“It all seems like lot more work than just watching the kid.”

“Tell you what let’s let someone else decide HEY BANTE!”

“Yes?”

“Do High Elves use diapers?”

“Pardon me?”

“I said: when your babies go to the bathroom do you tie something to them to catch it?”

“Wait that’s what Nords do!? You just let your kids sit in their own feces?”

“Well, you know, not for long or anything. Twenty minutes tops”

“That’s sick!”

“Hah! Told you. So you just lift ‘em up when they look ready to go?”

“Who on Nirn has time for that? You train them to go when you want to.”

“Train them?”

“Every hour or so you hold them up and squirt a bit of water on them down there. Triggers a reflex. Eventually they learn to go when you want them to.”

“Bullshit that works”

“Two sons. Worked each time.”

“What are you three standing around for! We are a half-day behind on the shipment”

“Okay, okay... hey K’ashka before we go I gotta ask: how do you guys handle your kid’s crap”

“...This one does not understand”

“When Khajiit are little. Do you use diapers or watch them or that squirt thing or what?”

“This is what you spend your time talking about?”

“Just tell us. How do you handle the the little fur balls when they go?”

“Ah you see it all involves the ancient Pelletine tradition of: GET BACK TO WORK!”

grumble grumble